that one song

You might hear a romantic piece that brings out the loneliness in you. You might hear a song with motivating lyrics, it may or may not go into you, telling you, "You're not alone." It is almost inevitably to say that, music (or a song) can easily evoke your emotion. It is probably a song you have heard maybe 5years back. When you listen to it again now, you feel like you're experiencing where you were 5 years back, -- a drama you watched, a stupid thing you've done with you friends etc. At least, to me, some songs have this power, flooding you with all the memories and emotions back then. I can't be the only one.

There's a study on this. If you're interested, >> Music, Memory and Emotion 

I'm listening to this playlist on YouTube by a Taiwanese singer. And i was doing some cleaning when that song that 'Clicks' my memory came on. It's weird but i can't deny. It's painful to hear. But it also release me a little bit more.

This song grew up with me 2 years back. Each and every word stabbed right in my heart back then. Through this song, i learned how stupid was i. Through this song, i learned how tough i could be. Yes i'm one of those super emotional girls once in a while but i never let my emotions go out. Never talked to anyone how pain it is, how much 'squeezing' was there in my heart. No tears no screaming no nothing. Everything looks just fine. We all need to learn to heal ourselves from heartbreak. And that is a mission impossible for most of us. 'Time doesn't heal you, time numbs you..' How true is that? or we could. we just need a longer than expected time.

You may go hysterical, overwrought, you may go out party, eating alot, exercise the hell out of it. You may be quiet. You may be dropping your tears at night. You may be drawing shits on your diary, posting meaningless status.

No one can tell you what to do. No one can make you feel better. Seeing him/her again is a disaster. You smiled and said Hi. Your heart was racing like you were meeting him/her for the first time, hoping that s/he'll stay longer, talk to you a lil longer. On the other hand, you know you have to go or you will break down right there. You left. But you didn't win. You can never win.

You are not what you thought you are. 
And you are never gonna be the same as who you were.
Life shapes you. It takes away something from you, it implants something on you. Good ones or bad ones? Everything has two sides.


GG emo post. lol i'll stop right here. 
Good night. 
*i'm not emo now :P 

你曾说雨下的时候别低下头，要等候奇迹降落

我不懂曾想一起拥抱的彩虹，为什么只剩下我

原来呀爱情是不会留下什么  只留下残缺的梦

能不能再把你的爱借点给我  好让我继续漂流

我的倔强  疯狂  无法  逞强  流浪

是否只剩一人在寂寞战场

你的模样  说谎  眼光  装傻  躲藏  我逃亡

我的倔强  迷惘  去闯  彷徨  悲伤

是否应该不计一切去抵抗

你的模样  不像  遗忘  飘荡  摇晃  我投降

leaving me with all the insecurities, with all the doubts, with all the emotions, with all of the everything that you don't know about.
To compare is as harmful as to kill.

Every family has their own way to stay connected and maintain relationship among themselves. Every parents have their own thinking about the family environment they ought to provide to their children.

have followed my boyfriend to some of his family occasions already. like gatherings, birthday etc etc. everytime there's only one thought that is in my mind, this family is so different from mine. They stay really connected. look at mine. EMO. The cousins seem to be able to get along with each other so well. look at mine. They dont talk to me and i won't talk to them.

let's not talk about the BIG family. just his family itself. they are so bonded to each other. they can talk to their parents. they can cry in front of their parents. they can discuss with their parents when something came up.

My parents are like, 'You should clean up your own shit.'
'Don't fking cry, crying brings bad stuff to the house!' (lol)
'Less than 90 marks? What's wrong with you? Go kneel down in front of the [san toi]!'

although my dad has changed a lot this few years cause we all have grown, i think it's too late already. i don't talk to my parents about my problem because i don't know if they will scold me or think that im weak/stupid. I don't even talk much to my siblings.

I am still, somehow scared of my dad. (and his belt)
i see their mother back them up all the time. how i wish my mom will do just a little bit like that. praise me just a little bit once in a while. say something good about me when her friends ask about me...
She only will say, 'Chun dou sei/ mou guai yong!' (cantonese)
'Fa hiao.'
'ca po kia chat.' (hokkien)
'don't always think you have a bit smartness then very geng.'
LOL
forever exaggerate the bad things, and my good side is totally invisible for her. -.- Well, she's somehow supportive for my sister and brother tho. Because my sister can get scholarship ma.

im not emo now lol.
My dad has his story and his background to make him behave that way, i know some friends who fit in the same shoes. Just..i dont know. this is a crap post also. might delete it after a few days. hahaha!

shit its 4am already!!

Fantastic day

i have been reading reading and reading but i think nothing goes into my mind.
feeling useless. very very useless.
Period.
cramp.
unproductive.
Moody.
no movie.
wasted time.
Guilt.
ice cream.
i had one.
and the cramp is gonna get worse.

oh, such a good day. fantastic.
haiz.
100+ sets of lectures to be covered.

'very occupied just now'.



... ...
that's all you told me.

20130902

just showered. can't sleep yet.

yes it's 2.22am now, because i just came back from uni at 1.30

here we go

-------------------

after 10mins decided not to update. too much, and dunno where to start. lolssss

=P

i got no one to talk to.

20130727

currently living this way

0000 - 0530 hard core study

0530 - 1000 hard core sleeping

1000 - 2400 hard core outings, chilling, watching dramas etc

SO SCREWEDDDDD

HGPRT- hypoxanthine guanine phosphoribosyltransferase
MELAS - myopathy encephalopathy, lactic acidosis and stroke-like episodes.

#RECAP

asdfghjkl;
poiuytrewq
zmxncbv.

20130722

back to yoga class this afternoon
haven't attended the last 3 classes due to laziness
and now my back is aching like mad. because we did this today

looks easy? try it and see. hahahah

***

-Dress to impress-

did i actually just say that to others. LOL eventually yes.

Mega sales is here and i haven't get out of the cave and go for shopping yet..

for the past weeks i've received more than just a few sms notifying me about the members discount this and that. AHHH i want to go shopping.

i mean real shopping.

sometimes i hooked onto online shopping. err or you can say most of the time.

because those things i can find online are always nicer. cheaper.

but no one can guarantee the quality wor

also i tried to buy shoes before but the sizing is always NAYY

too small, all the time

therefore my online shopping mood is like on and off all the time~

but recently i bought a few stuffs from Taobao the china online shopping website

this shoes just caught my eyes like no others..there's another one with sky blue body and green shoe laces. likewise, was just trying my luck or taking the risk that the shoes might not fit..i decided to buy it. bcz it was selling at only 27RMB which means like..RM15? if cannot fit then burn only lo. It fits just wellllll OMG me so happy hahahhaha

also this dress at 45RMB. not bad de, a lil bit too short for me -.- still wearable but yeah, for me it's short. but nvm. hahahaha. this is another thing lo. the dress looks long on the models, and stated there the model is 167cm. and my last body check was only 157cm so i think aiya, they so tall also can wear. i got 10cm reservoir but NO. FAKE MODEL HEIGHT (or im not 157? XD)

my customized name necklace :D 

bought this few months back (before cny tbe) hahaha. like it so much. but the chain is abit too long leh even though i chose to have the shortest length haha. this is the problem when you don't get to see the item when you buy. nvm, still nice. i still like it.

got it here Glamtags 

****

it's always nice to hear people talking about yourselves

good or bad

even if you got some so-called bad comments, why not you think this way : they are just trying to make you better. no point being upset with what they're saying. after all it's nice to know they are spending their precious time to comment about you. so cheer up babe ;)

***

as i mentioned before, i had OSCE last wednesday (Objective Structured Clinical Examination)

thought i'll screw them all up cause i didn't practice like others do. and went onto vacation in Thailand some more. #YOLO

Back to uni on Monday and had a clinical skills session with my mentor. eventually my mentor is quite a big one in Clinical Skills department, so he has high expectation on me (lol). well. when practicing the physical examination i was like "Erm, erm, ahh, erm, erm......" and missed out a few things >< but he keeps encourage me to do it, and gives me motivation (i won't say pressure at this point after the sessions).. and then another session on Tuesday. it was a bit lame but all his comments stored in my mind.

We will know how we did tomorrow during the osce debriefing i guess.

please let me pass...>< not with flying colours, just a pass ngiek.

***

alrite....

really need to study for final OBA in aug. one month time. im so screwed.

biochem, genetics, nutrition, anat & physio, patho, Pharmaco, immunity, microbio, comm med, statistics.. NONE IS DONE.

LOL

stupid pharmaco.

ComplexChain

So plc has just said 'because someone hurt him so badly..'
and everyone looked at me
that incident has been bugging me for quite a long time
i didn't do nor say anything but ran away
and i realized that was a really bad idea

Seven people, complex, complicated chain.

*bro fist*

#drama

like now
so much i want to tell
just
not anywhere else

just remember if you don't treat her well, somebody else will.

BORING LAH

im bored.
im pissed.
im urghhhh!
im soon yee. lol crazy

recently im so pissed with the IT world man....

my pc was attacked by viruses. ok. i may sound dumb here, im not sure whether my pc was equipped with anti-virus or some scanning program ( ok, guys, how to spell this? program or programme? LOL )..so when people asked me to scan and/or delete, please excuse my dumbness, but HOW TO SCAN?? 
David told me, reformat lo, then i answered, k lo when i go back home i shall send my pc to ppl. then he was like, "lol, you can reformat yourself." and yeah, i was like REALLY??? and he said, "ohh man, you really know nothing about this."

well,

i've told you im real dumb in this when we started the topic. lol

GOOGLE is my bestfriend. i love him so much.

so i just follow the steps people provided online....and i guess the virus is gone?

now another thing.

when i plug in my external hard disk and open the file, i was like WHAT THE FREAKING HELL............................................ there's only two pictures inside, and 2 documents i did 3 years back.

but when i check in 'My Computer', the memory for the disk is almost full...

what is happening? =(

and i got to uni i asked Leonard, he said crashed and said restore it. does that mean that...i will lose everything in it? :O

NOOOOO THERE'S SO MANY PICTURES INSIDE.......(T.T)

i hope it's my laptop's problem :( and the pictures and files are still there....

*pray hard*

**********************

came across with this picture when i was stalking people..ahh, yeah. i stalk when im bored. i haven't get my ass up to study yet because the 2nd OFA is....6 weeks away? mmhmm way too chill.

miss being in TCSH tho.

and i went to TULC library to get some resources for AIR topic..err...taylor's library is sooooo awesomeeeeee and when i sat there i was thinking, what would happened if i failed to meet the requirement for imu and just went to taylor's instead?

i will be in sem 2 already.

why did i choose imu over taylor's back then?

because of the twinning options lo.

taylors can only do credit transfer to St George's, im not saying the SGUL is not my choice, it still is. just that only 5ppl in each batch will be able to do the credit transfer..and for me, there's a risk.

so taylors, widen ur transfer option =P

well, never look back, imu is fun too :3

*********************

meet up with le girls again, this time with EC and RJ around. hohoho

ahh time flies.

but everytime with them, i feel like we are still sooooo young and childish

in fact,

PH is graduating soon and currently doing internship already.

RJ and YX too, seem like they're graduating in a year or two.

everyone is fast, except the A level's kids (yes, WJ and I, sad. so old already just started 1st sem, and both of us are choosing the courses with loooongest duration. so awesome see how are we wasting our time. LOL)

anyways,

hahahahahhaha! were talking about the horror movies..

and when EC said, the nightmare on Elm street is really scary.

mmhmm. and see how did i survive the whole movie alone in cinema when ppl ffk.

********************

ARGHH 

JUST

FREAKING

GIVE 

ME

BACK

THE

THINGS

IN

MY

HARD

DISKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK

i hope im just having a bad dream, and then when i wake up again, my pc will be fine, my hard disk will be fine, everything is fine.

*************

ahh, back and ass hurt..too hardcore yesterday, doing exercises and yoga. lol

i am not a fearless person.

can't you see my insecurities

.............

i can do this

leave the tears behind

Love is when words don't even come close to what your heart really feels.