Every family has their own way to stay connected and maintain relationship among themselves. Every parents have their own thinking about the family environment they ought to provide to their children.

have followed my boyfriend to some of his family occasions already. like gatherings, birthday etc etc. everytime there's only one thought that is in my mind, this family is so different from mine. They stay really connected. look at mine. EMO. The cousins seem to be able to get along with each other so well. look at mine. They dont talk to me and i won't talk to them.

let's not talk about the BIG family. just his family itself. they are so bonded to each other. they can talk to their parents. they can cry in front of their parents. they can discuss with their parents when something came up.

My parents are like, 'You should clean up your own shit.'
'Don't fking cry, crying brings bad stuff to the house!' (lol)
'Less than 90 marks? What's wrong with you? Go kneel down in front of the [san toi]!'

although my dad has changed a lot this few years cause we all have grown, i think it's too late already. i don't talk to my parents about my problem because i don't know if they will scold me or think that im weak/stupid. I don't even talk much to my siblings.

I am still, somehow scared of my dad. (and his belt)
i see their mother back them up all the time. how i wish my mom will do just a little bit like that. praise me just a little bit once in a while. say something good about me when her friends ask about me...
She only will say, 'Chun dou sei/ mou guai yong!' (cantonese)
'Fa hiao.'
'ca po kia chat.' (hokkien)
'don't always think you have a bit smartness then very geng.'
LOL
forever exaggerate the bad things, and my good side is totally invisible for her. -.- Well, she's somehow supportive for my sister and brother tho. Because my sister can get scholarship ma.

im not emo now lol.
My dad has his story and his background to make him behave that way, i know some friends who fit in the same shoes. Just..i dont know. this is a crap post also. might delete it after a few days. hahaha!

shit its 4am already!!